June 23rd, 2015

t-bag: they always try to run away

Answer for question 4422.

Are you more likely to avoid conflict (of whatever kind) or engage it head-on? Is there an instance where you avoided a problem that you now wish you could go back and take a different course of action -- what was the situation and why do you wish you'd handled it differently?
I'm definitely a conflict avoider usually, but if the person is someone I can't or don't want to avoid, I can have a reasonable discussion about it. Sometimes if something irks me enough I might start provoking them unintentionally but would still avoid actually addressing the issue, which is a character flaw for sure. It happens mostly because I'm not great at taking criticism, I just take everything really personally and get extremely insulted most of the time and it's not a great feeling so I basically build my life around escapism.

There's one conflict I wish I had handled differently. It bothers me so much that I never explained to an ex friend why her actions upset me so much. I just provoked her and indirectly insulted her all the time without telling her WHY, and that would have been a shitty way to act even if I would have been more honest about the reason. You just don't treat people like that, ever, even if they insult you first. The proper reaction would have been either a clean breakup without all the drama, or being actual grownups and having a rational honest conversation. But we didn't, so... from her perspective it probably looks like I was just being an awful bigot or something but I honestly had a really good, but very personal reason for having a problem with the things she was saying. I didn't want to tell her the truth because it's so difficult to share something personal with someone that you already have a pretty strained relationship with, but now I wish I had because I'm sure that a) she would have understood and b) ONLY she would have understood. If I ever do want to talk about my issues, I don't really have anyone and it's really hard to accept that knowing I could have avoided this situation. But well, I hope I learned something.

(btw, does anyone know any fun fandom/character memes or something else I could fill to pass the time...? I'd like to write about something but can't think of anything. I feel like talking about Teen Wolf. I think I'll start writing reactions when s5 starts airing but I'm not sure if I'll do it here or if I'll finally start using Tumblr.)